Yesterday is the saddest and weirdest Father's day for me..
I dunno how come but it's totally out of sight, out of mind, out of control..
I thought it was another peaceful day, but it wasn't...
It was supposed to be a super nice Sunday...
However, I just woke up ,finished my breakfast and dad came up with a slow voice and pale face :" bi, go to the drugstore and pick up some pills" and he fell down off the ground...
And i phoned to the doctor and he gave me the name of the medicine...
i rushed into the medicine and gave it to him .Later on, he couldn't get better so mom had to take him to the hospital cuz he couldn't stand by himself. ..
And she called me that he was ok and on the way back home. ..
The reason is he gathered with friends and ate out the day before yesterday. ..
Therefore , he was diarrheal and stomachache to collapse...
Thanks God, he went over the sickness and recovered ....
Some words to Dad....

Dear dad,..
i haven't said these words to u straightforward and so do u...
but u know, last Sunday is scary and haunting one to me....
I have never seen you like that.. you have never been down during 19 years ..
You are not the type of people who feel easy to vent out the feelings. ..
That's also what i am inherited from you...
Apparently, we rarely meet each other for so long, cuz when i wake up for school, u are sleeping and when i go to bed at night, u are still outside on the street...
Furthermore, you haven't told me that you love me or hug me as other's dad do...
Hence, i come across as a boy-ish girl, but it's not a big deal to me...
I know that you love me in a different way and i trust you..


The most embarrasing thing is that i am definitely a LOSER....

One thing more.

Consequently, I officially say:" I AM SORRY, SO SORRY, SORRY FOR MY FAULTS, SORRY FOR MY STUPIDITY, SORRY FOR MY STUBBORNNESS , SORRY FOR LAZINESS, SORRY FOR THIS BAD GIRL"
You will know what i meant
PS: I love you...
<3

; 1:55 AM

; 12:37 AM

; 12:27 AM

i really messed thing up and a dumb loser..

i obviously want to get over this..

things came out and i got wrecked.

it's really scary and it is totally a nightmare..

that had been haunting me during my schooltime and now. it's back

stay away from me..

i tried my best to ignore u and be a good girl..

i am supposed to stay optimistic but then it broke down and ..

i am tired of all that.

I am not ostensibly a bad girl.. do nothing to change the truth..

It's just all my destiny..

I tried my best to improve myself but hell then..

the result is rubbish.. I wondered who I am and what i am doing on this earth?

My parents gave birth to me with a hope of another better life..

but i continuously caused them in trouble..

I am a filial child at home but it's not enough..

they always worried about me from time to time..

they probably dropped tears and fazed all the time..

i have been trying to make them happy and proud of me..

but sorry... i just made them happy but they aren't proud of me..

they spent so much money on me, in order to help me pursue this course...

Sometimes, i want to go back and took the test again .. but i am absent-minded , not encouraging...

For some reasons, they confused me a lot . And the fact that i was really deep down at that time.. i feel so guilty.. i am a shit troublesome child..

i glanced at their eyes and saw the disappointment filling up their minds.

I murmured why i was born in this world?

haha.. i got the reason: to make ppl confused and mess things up

They occasionally looked at other's children with desirous eyes.. They once told me that:" when i look at other's children, i desire to have those children, but I.."

I just chuckled silently and said nothing..

I really wanted to go away... as far as i can.. in order not to make them upset once again.. but nope... i didn't do that... cuz i thought that although they aren't proud of me, but i will try my best to make them feel content and satisfied with me( just i deserve to get their sacrifice)...

* choking*

Ava: credit to the creater:D.. sorry that i dun who made this:D

; 8:48 PM

; 7:57 PM